Do Monsters Exist?

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akash664
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Do Monsters Exist?

Post by akash664 »

Guys can i please have your comments on this ad i made for CRY.
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Do Monsters Exist?
Do Monsters Exist?
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Sonya
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Post by Sonya »

well thought.
Tarique
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Location: Dubai

Post by Tarique »

art direction needs work....
Aaj ki TARIQUE mein, mujhse aacha koi nahi ;)
life_joke
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Location: kolkata

Post by life_joke »

idea - too damn forced. art - sucks. copy - verbose. overall mssg. is as lost as lost can be.
drunkenmonkey
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Post by drunkenmonkey »

are u the cig eating akash from mica?
copy-well r u into copy?
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shantyarow
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No!

Post by shantyarow »

Akash, I like the sentiment behind this ad.
But frankly it's very badly written.
There are far too many grammatical errors (Headline: Monster's should be Monsters as in plural) and (they falls asleep should be fall asleep) are just 2 I could immediately scan.
Also, I guess you've done the art direction yourself and it is very rough. I can understand you're still breaking your teeth into advertising, but this really needs a lot of work.
Would love to see you give another thwack on this. Do write to me if you need any specific pointers.
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Tarun Biswas
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Post by Tarun Biswas »

shanty, you are good.... :)
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DesignBoyz
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Location: Rome, Italy

Post by DesignBoyz »

Tarun, nice body :)
Is that you
or SOmebody !
DesignBoyz come,
Others go !
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Yeminio
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Location: Santiago - Chile

Post by Yeminio »

I would like that in a book. But probably I wouldn't read it if Im looking a magazine.

I don't want to look like a guy that thing that is a teacher or an ultra pro guy... I don't know much about ad, but what I see is that. :p

people like the simplest things. maybe you have to think "why would they start to read this and not the other 100 pages of the magazine?"

well, hope that it helps in something.

and about the art direction. Yes, you should try it with an art director :p

good luck, love the story xP


!EYB
>Meado con olor a Galleta.
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akash664
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Monsters do exist- Reworked!!!

Post by akash664 »

Hello people.... thanks for your comments and critics.... appreciate it.... seriously!

anyway.... reworked the ad a bit... its still verbose... but there is a reason for that.... its for my portfolio.... and i wanted to show that i could write long copy!!!


anyway..... check it out... and screw it some more please!
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kikikikikiki
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Post by kikikikikiki »

lovely thought. but very bad copy. and that does not mean grammatical errors.
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Anusheela
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Post by Anusheela »

'Do Monsters exist?' not Monster's my lad...copy error in the headline
Vikram
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Location: New Delhi

Post by Vikram »

Akash - I agree with the others - it is a very nice thought - but I think (and as u have mentioned) you have forcibly converted this ad into a long copy one. I think u should give it a shot with crisper copy. Might just tip the scale. And as far as grammatical errors and spelling mistakes are concerned, please be very careful about them cos they are absolute no-nos, especially if u r showcasing the ad in ur portfolio. Hope this helps - feel free to ask if u have any queries - and all the best dude - I hope u will give it a shot and rework the copy cos the idea is nice. Cheerz!
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